5 Signs of a Hard Heart

We live in a world that’s in the business of creating hard hearts. Yet the Bible warns against this type of heart. In this video, learn what a hard heart is, signs you have one, and how to soften a hard heart. Enjoy!

For the month of February, we’re discussing all matters of the heart. Today I want to talk about hard hearts. It’s a hardness of heart that is dangerous to our walk with Christ and we must be watchful, because even Christians are susceptible to a hard heart.

Many times, we associate hardness with strength. Hardness like a rock, is thought to be unmovable, unbreakable, until well it’s not. Our hearts were not designed to be hard, but flexible and pliable so they may be moved by God. Proverbs 21:1 says:

“The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD; he guides it wherever he pleases.” (Proverbs 21:1 NLT)

When something is hard, instead of bending, it will break. It’s hardness then becomes it’s greatest weakness. The hardness of it actually makes it more susceptible to destruction. So God does not want our hearts to be hard, but pliable that we may be moved by Him. To have a hard heart is to position ourselves to be opposed to God, resistant of His ways, and closed off to His love.

To help us stay watchful and guard against a hard heart, here are 5 signs of a hard heart and cures for each one.

1. A hard heart is a prideful heart.

Now when I say pride, you may think of someone walking around with their chest poked out bragging about all the good things that they are and do. It’s important to note that pride looks many ways. Pride is simply giving credit to ourselves when we should be acknowledging God. It’s focusing too much on ourselves, whether good or bad, instead of focusing on God. Also, we may not always be boasting, but if we always feel the need to control things because we think we are the only ones who can do it, that may be a sign of pride that leads to a hard heart. Why? Because pride causes us to ultimately trust ourselves and not God, and when we don’t trust God, we are not going to be inclined to allow Him to move our hearts and lead our lives. We’d rather follow our own heart, and do what we think is best rather than surrender to God. In our effort to use our own strength to control our lives, we have hardened our hearts to the better plan that God has for us and forget the Words of Jesus when He says: 

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:25 NIV)

The cure for this kind of heart is an acknowledgment of God’s greater plans and purposes and trusting Him with our lives. 

2. A Hard Heart is a Misunderstanding Heart.

We see Jesus address this kind of heart in Mark 8:14-20 while on a boat with His disciples. Jesus is using the example of unleavened bread to share a lesson with his disciples about sins’ ability to spread that they may be watchful as not to end up like the Pharisees who were so focused on religion and not a sincere relationship with God. Instead of hearing and understanding what Jesus was trying to teach them, they worried about forgetting to bring bread on the boat. 

Now, you have to realize Jesus had previously turned a few loaves of bread into many to feed thousands. So not only are the disciples not hearing the teaching Jesus desires to share with them, they are worried about something that Jesus had already proven he can take care of. Jesus then asks:

“Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? (Mark 8:17-18 ESV)

The disciple’s misunderstanding of not only the teaching of Jesus, but also who He was to them hardened their hearts. When we don’t have a grasp of who God is and His ability to impact our lives, our hearts become hard. The cure of this type of hard heart is to not only hear God’s Word, but to understand it and live it. Allow His truth to actually transform your life. Don’t only be near Jesus in action, but have a sincere relationship with Him. 

3. A hard heart is an unrepentant heart.

King David was considered a man after God’s own heart, (1 Samuel 13:14) yet the scriptures are very open and truthful about many of his shortcomings. His adultery, murder, pride, and many scandals within his household. David was far from perfect, but he acknowledged it and repented of it. 

When the prophet Nathan confronts David in 2 Samuel 12 about his adultery and murder, David had a few options of how he could have responded. He could have made excuses that he was the king and could do whatever he wanted to do. He could have told Nathan to take his negativity somewhere else and that he didn’t want to hear that. But instead of using his power to justify his sin, he repents before God because he recognizes that although he is king, God is still greater, and he answers ultimately to God. Romans 2:5 gives this warning:

“But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed.” (Romans 2:5 NIV)

No one is perfect, but when we make excuses for our sin, instead of acknowledging God’s better way, we harden our hearts to living God’s way. God is in the business of working with imperfect people, but when we can’t admit that we are imperfect and repent, we don’t give God much to work with.

4. A hard heart is an unsympathetic and judgemental heart.

A hard heart is one that is not responsive to the needs of others. When we are unable to sympathize with others, we usually judge them and forget that we too are susceptible to any sin, hardship, or suffering. 

1 John 3:17 tells us:

 “But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?” (1 John 3:17 ESV)

The cure for an unsympathetic heart is to remember that we all fall short, and any good that we experience or accomplish is from God alone. We aren't entitled to a good life, but if we have one, it’s because God has allowed it. When we take this view, it’s easier to respond to the needs of others. Although we may not experience the same needs that they have, we do know what it is like to need because we all need God. 

5. A hard heart is an unforgiving and resentful heart.

The dangerous thing about unforgiveness and resentment is that it does more harm to us than the person we are holding those negative feelings against. I remember after a really ugly break up when I was younger, and before my husband, Donald, being so angry and really seeking the Lord for help about it. The Lord led me to James 1:20 which I memorized and said to myself every time that anger arose. The scripture says:

“For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20 ESV)

I had to get to a point where my peace was more important than my desire to be angry and bitter. I had to trust God to bring about justice in His time and the way He saw fit and realize that this situation, as bad as it felt at the time, was not worth taking my peace hostage or hindering my relationship with God. 

Sometimes we hold on to bitterness and unforgiveness to protect ourselves from more hurt, but unfortunately in blocking out the perceived bad that may or may not happen, we harden our hearts to block out the good that God wants to bring into our lives. 

Now I’m not saying to openly allow people to disrespect you and harm you in the name of forgiveness. Toxic people and relationships need to have very firm boundaries to honor your heart and the life God has given you. But you can forgive and let go, without having to enter or re-enter a toxic situation. So take the matter to God, cast all our cares, anger, and bitterness on Him, and leave it there. 

A soft heart is not a weak heart, which is why the Bible speaks against having a hard heart. Please know that I get it, this world we live in is a petri dish for growing hard hearts, but we don’t have to let it harden ours. Ezekiel 36:26 tells us:

“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26 ESV)

If you find yourself with a hard heart today, I pray you give that heart to God who is in the business of making even the hardest heart soft again. 

Now I’d love to hear from you, Beloved. Has any one of these scenarios hardened your heart? Let me know which one and let’s encourage one another in the comments.

Want to learn more about overcoming an anxious heart and living a life of less worry and more faith, join Beloved Women to receive my free video Bibe study called “Worry-Free” to learn the 3 lies feeding your worry and the truth to keep in our heart to set you free. Download for free today at belovedwomen.org.

If you linked this video I also want to invite you to check out my video Bible study series “Matters of the Heart,'' a Bible study on emotional wellness through the book of Psalms. Click here to learn more and study with me.

As always, thank you so much for watching! Until next time be beautiful, be blessed, and beloved.